After I finished with my Australian ex boyfriend, I felt like born again. I was like a bird. Free from any boundaries (he was abusive and obsessive) I felt like a real 21 year old girl again.
That period of time I like to hang out with my classmates, we going crazy together. We went to clubs and having crazy hook ups. I met guys from internet (again) but now I never really have type. Anyone who was nice to me and honest, will stand a chance. Few hook ups here and there, I can't even remember, because there are no serious one, even I never have intention to find serious relationship at that time. We were girls just want to have fun.
Until one day, one of my friend was very tired going to clubs and wanted to chill in bundaran HI. So I went there.
There was one particular day, there was one guy who seemed like interested in me. He introduced himself as a singer. Band and street singer. He sang to me and everything just fell to something more serious. We were seeing each other nearly every day in the same place, at the same time. Mostly at night. I thought why not, this is just another life adventure right? Yes it was a very hard one.
His life was not stable at all, he didn't have a job that time, only being a street artist. I know this guy was intelligent somehow, I could see from his eyes. Not like other uneducated street artist. I was right. Later on he told me he ran away from his house for 5 years and never come back. He came from a very respectable family, even his grandfather was Indonesian national hero ( even has his name for one of the protocol road)
He took me to his family house in South Area after he never come back home. It was surprising and his house was in elite housing i can tell. His mom like me and we talk for hours.
I fell for him, I saw his struggle and I helped him whatever that I can help. Everything even money. He can't afford anything and didn't want to depend on his mom.
But something was wrong and I found out He was a drug user. Also a drug dealer. Omfg. And I still wanted to be with him because I think I can change him. Nope I can't until forever and ever.
The final time was he told me police catch him whatsoever and wanted me to transfer money to his account for bail. I sent all I have that time, and I just started work as an intern in a radio station.
After that, I never see him again. Until I saw his social media that he move to Bandung and have new girlfriend not up to 1 month after he lost every contact with me. After that police case.
I went to his mom and crying. I told her that he really break my heart and his mom can't do anything. She was also speechless.
I was so deppresed that time, I feel deeply betrayed. I gave all I have, my love, my money, my trust and he just having fun with another woman. And they married not long after.
I found out that the girlfriend was pregnant and have baby few months later. So, even when he still with me he already with that girl and I don't even know what for the money I sent to him before.
I blame myself for my stupidity and my good heart to him. I never really blame him, I blame myself more.
That period of time I became alcoholic. I drink alcohol right after I woke up and right before I slept at night. I woke up at 3 o clock in the afternoon and sleep at 6 o clock in the morning. I even skip classes and skip work. One of my darkest time.
I cut my wrist and I wanted to kill my self. I wasn't eat for weeks, I smoke and drink alcohol only. I was dying. But my journey to find my other half will continue again and again.
To be continued...
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