Time to Re-connect

It was not a quiet happy moment when I think I was all alone with nobody by my side, when I think I don't even have friend to share. But wait, I had many friends before. Where are they?

We are too drawn to our busy life and sometimes forget about our old friends. Not forget (because we all friends on Facebook ) but we think that they have their own happy life and too afraid to say hello, afraid that they call us creepy or have behind agenda and maybe they do the same to you too.

When friends can be stranger and they're just nothing but another status on Instagram or Facebook, maybe this is the time to re-connect or just simply hello, asking how are you or reminisce old times. You don't know maybe they need your help at that moment, it is happy to help even just to listen to their problems.

Sometimes I'm too "afraid" to say hello and leave people behind because I know people are seems happier than me and they don't need my help. I saw many people walk away from my life before and I don't want to lost another.

I found this interesting quotes from How I met your mother,

"You will be shocked when you discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever. That's why when you find someone you want to keep around, you do something about it." —Ted Mosby,How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 21: "Gary Blauman"

So far, I've been reconnect to few friends from junior high school, High school and College. So happy to talk to them and meet them, changing story. Because we didn't meet for no reason. we crossed path and I'm grateful to meet them.

So, what do you waiting for? do something. give your time to say hello and mean it.

Bubble

6 PM. Sipping a hot coffee alone in a one of a coffee shops in the middle of Jakarta while listening to How Many more times - Lisa Ekhdahl. What a perfect afternoon to spend. Just for a moment to clear my head from everything. A moment to celebrate my free time.

I'm watching people from the distance having their conversation. they live in their own bubble. bubble. I'm curious what if somehow we can see what people had in their mind. Are they thinking about their work? personal life? or maybe love? it will be so interesting to know their stories.

Somehow now I remembered about something my lecturer, Mr. Thomas Apitzsch told me years ago. We are people just like a goldfish in their own fishbowl. It made me thinking so hard at that time. not that hard, but hard enough to question everything. He was right though.

I thinking about nationalities or people by their place to live ( I don't know why I analized from that perspective), so we are one or many fish live in one fishbowl, we don't have any idea about other fishbowl outside our fishbowl, only we can see it if our water clear enough and not far enough. all we can do is wondering what other's fishbowl thinking. But as a fish we can have that capability to jump over the fishbowl and visit other fishbowl. It takes courage and energy. Every fish have that ability but not many fish can take the leap.

So yeah, my random thought this afternoon. Made me thinking about it more now. This is my bubble right now. What's yours?

I Am The ENTP!

It is always fun to know your personality,  Isabel Briggs Myers created the sixteen personality types with the help of her mother, Katharine Briggs, and the theories of psychologist Carl Jung. Since then, much research has been done into how each type functions at work, at home, and in relationships.

After more than one test, I found out this is my personality.

ENTP

Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving

"Clever" is the word that perhaps describes ENTPs best. The professor who juggles half a dozen ideas for research papers and grant proposals in his mind while giving a highly entertaining lecture on an abstruse subject is a classic example of the type. So is the stand-up comedian whose lampoons are both funny and incisively accurate.

ENTPs are usually verbally as well as cerebrally quick, and generally love to argue--both for its own sake, and to show off their debating skills. ENTPs tend to have a perverse sense of humor as well, and enjoy playing devil's advocate. This sometimes confuses, even angers, those who don't understand or accept the concept of argument as a sport.

ENTPs are as innovative and ingenious at problem-solving as they are at verbal gymnastics; on occasion, however, they manage to outsmart themselves. ENTPs can be prone to "sharp practice" – especially cutting corners without regard to the rules if it's expedient – or, their juggling acts may simply be so over-ambitious they collapse.

Both at work and at home, ENTPs are very fond of "toys" -- physical or intellectual, the more sophisticated the better. Once these have been "solved" or become too familiar, however, they’ll be replaced with new ones.

ENTPs are basically optimists, but in spite of this (perhaps because of it?), they can become petulant about small setbacks and inconveniences. (Major setbacks they regard as challenges, and tackle with determination.) ENTPs have little patience with those they consider wrongheaded or unintelligent, and show little restraint in demonstrating this. In general, however, they are genial, even charming, when not being harassed by life.

In terms of their relationships with others, ENTPs are capable of bonding very closely and suddenly with their loved ones. Some appear deceptively offhand with their nearest and dearest; others are so demonstrative that they succeed in shocking co-workers who've only seen their professional side. ENTPs are also quick to spot a kindred spirit, and good at acquiring friends of similar temperament and interests.

ENTPs may sometimes give the impression of being largely oblivious to the rest of humanity except as an audience: good, bad, or potential. In general this is unfair – but it can be difficult to get an ENTP’s attention when they’re not immediately aware of you, especially for an Introvert.
The best approach in communicating with an ENTP is to be straightforward. No games – they’ll win. No "pulling rank" – they’ll just want to put you in your place. No apologies – you’ll undermine yourself. Try "I need/want to talk to you."

(ENTP stands for Extravert, iNtuitive, Thinking, Perceiving and represents individual's preferences in four dimensions characterising personality type, according to Jung's and Briggs Myers' theories of personality type.)

What is your personality type? Take the Test!

Functional Analysis Of The ENTP

Based on Jung’s framework of cognitive functions

Extraverted iNtuition

ENTPs are nothing if not unique. Brave new associations flow freely from the unconscious into the world of the living. Making, discovering and developing connections between and among two or more of anything is virtually automatic. The product of intuition is merely an icon of process; ENTPs are in the business of change, improvement, experimentation.

The attraction Extraverted iNtuition has toward the real and physical amounts to a cosmic non sequitur: theory is drawn to practice. Such encounters are clearly puzzling. Both parties--the intuitor and the realist--are aware of a xenic quality in their meeting, with reactions ranging from recoil to reverie.

Introverted Thinking

Thinking is iNtuition's ready assistant, an embodiment of the sort of logic found in laws, boards and circuits. Thinking's job is to lend focus and direction to iNtuition's critical mass. The temporary habitations of changeling iNtuition are constructed of Boolean materials from Thinking's storehouse. Ultimately, Thinking is no match for iNtuition's prodigiousness. Systems lie in various states of disarray, fragmentary traces of Thinking's feverish attempts to shadow and undergird the leaps of the dominant function. One can only suppose that Thinking must continue to work during REM sleep pulling together iNtuition's brainchildren into integral wholes.

Extraverted Feeling

To the extent that Feeling is developed, ENTPs extravert Feeling judgment. As a result, it is not uncommon to find affability and bonhomie in members of this species. Tertiary functions are potentially utilitarian. Their limitations appear in their relative underdevelopment, diminished endurance, and vulnerability. ENTPs may harness Feeling's good will in areas such as sales, service, drama, humor and art. ENTP loyalty often runs high and can be hooked by those the ENTP counts as friends.

Introverted Sensing

Like a tail on the kite of iNtuition, Introverted Sensing counterweighs these beings drawn to nonconformity and anarchy. These shadowy sensory forms, so familiar to SJ types, serve as lodestones which many ENTPs employ Herculean measures to escape. "Question authority! (then do exactly what it tells you)" sums up the dilemma in which ENTPs may find themselves by attempting to best the tarbaby Sensing. Occasionally acknowledging awareness of norms and abnormality could, in theory, be potentially freeing.
Additionally, I've noticed that ENTPs have the need to have areas of expertise/excellence/uniqueness in which one is second to none. I've never beaten an ENTP at his/her own game--not in the final analysis. (e.g., just tonight, my neighbor who is recuperating from an illness received a call from an ENTP friend offering his special recipe for tea. The instructions required only the finest ingredients, a particular brand of orange juice, tea made with a ball--none of those horrid teabags--..., which will of course make the best tea of which he himself drinks 50 gallons each winter!)

ENTP Communication Skills

In the process of communication, ENTPs try to bring to light the logical connections between phenomena and events and provide explanations for them. They find great satisfaction in having their inferences recognized by the other party.

ENTPs are interesting and easy to talk to, although some of their conversation partners may be exhausted by the somewhat adversarial form their communication takes. As a rule, ENTPs feel at ease conversing in a group, while they actively assert their independent view on the topic of discussion. For them, friendly conversations usually work out with people of equal intellect.

In communication, ENTPs usually come across as confident, precise and objective. They strive to maintain their characteristic objective and methodical evaluation, even when discussing topics relating to the finer feelings of the soul. Thus, for example, topics of love and lyric poetry also make them want to find ways to analyze the subject of the emotions.

The typical social circle of ENTPs for the most part consists of relatives, friends and co-workers. At the same time, ENTPs are quick off the mark and communicate fairly actively with a variety of different people at parties, meetings and recreational gatherings.

As a rule, business communication of ENTPs is intense. To their colleagues (or other people working in the same field), it is important to figure out an ENTP’s in-depth expert opinion on many professional issues. The topics of discussion for ENTPs usually include exchange of opinions and ideas, and critical analysis of new approaches and methods.

ENTP: Strategies for Successful Communication

ENTPs engage easily with people of the same mindset, or, to put it differently, with those of intuitive/thinking (NT) personality types such as ENTJ, INTJ, ENFP, and INTP. People in this group have roughly the same method for understanding the world, which is why ENTPs easily share their thoughts with other NTs, and in turn comprehend their reasoning or views.

When communicating with sensory/thinking (ST) people including ESTJ, ISTJ, ESTP, and ISTP personality types, ENTPs should keep to communication based on facts and their direct consequences. Although this method of communication may seem to ENTPs somewhat dry, they can easily adapt to it. As for people from the ST group, when it comes to their thought patterns, this style of communication fits those most, and is easy for them to comprehend.

When conversing with people of intuitive/feeling types (NF), including ENFJ, INFJ, ENFP, and INFP personality types, ENTPs need to adhere to communication mostly based on ideas, concepts and theories. Communication between ENTPs and people in this group, as a rule, touches on variety of topics and is beneficial to both parties. And while ENTPs try to maintain as objective a view as possible, whereas a significant proportion of representatives of the NF group judge situations based on their feelings, nevertheless, they often find common ground necessary for effective communication and finding solutions.

For ENTPs, communication is most difficult with people of sensory/feeling types (SF), including ESFJ, ISFJ, ESFP, and ISFP personality types. When conversing with SF people, ENTPs should adhere to communication that is based on feelings, facts, and concrete sensations. However, the problem is that it can be difficult for ENTPs to keep up the conversation by those means. They may have to struggle to find argumentation that can better resonate with members of the SF group, which often either leads to ENTPs trying to wind down the conversation or to their stressing over the other party’s “lack of understanding”. In order to ensure a level of communication appropriate for both sides, ENTPs need to prepare themselves for a style of communication that suits SF people, beforehand.

 How to determine which personality type group another person belongs to?

What helps successful communication for an ENTP:

• The topic of discussion is conceptual in nature
• There is a need to find hidden, unobvious possibilities
• The discussion requires a good understanding of logical connections
• The topic calls for a creative approach
• The other party is an NT or NF person

What hinders successful communication for an ENTP:

• The topic material has weak logical connections
• The topic is of purely practical, mundane nature
• The topic heavily involves the finer feelings of the soul for too long
• Long communication with SF people

Source : http://www.humanmetrics.com/personality/entp

People Who Talk Behind Your Back is Behind You for a Reason

Agree on this. There are such people who just like drama and spread bad words intentionally. I call them toxic people. Yes. They just love doing that because they want to gain friends or popularity, so the more people agree with them, the more they can have advantage in a certain community. The more follower they had, the more power they 'think' they can kick out person who they don't like. It is not nice, it is rude and it is common especially in work place. It is a character and you can't change them. You can choose to Confront them, do the same to them or just simply ignore them.

It is so childish yet so unnecessary things to do, but can be a big problem to certain people and also the productivity of a workplace. Well, this is a serious problem of every company (if I'm the one who runs and manage the company)

In this case, I am the employee and there is nothing that I can do about it, just do my work, ignore, and throw my middle finger. One thing that I should keep in my mind, I have Grander purpose, I have my own goals and I will not stuck there for the rest of my life. So, be ready to lose another good employee. Cheers!

We are tinder Generation

I start using tinder 3 days ago, after a severe heartbreak and a hundred of lonely nights. yeah, its kind of desperate act. honestly, this is not the first time i'm using Dating Apps. I started using Dating Apps years a go, and found two of my exes there. haha. but still, this apps is still new to me, it feels like a game, when you only swipe people to show interest and judge people by it's profile picture. I know, shallow right? I even found a couple of old friends there.

The first day, I swipe right every single photo, just for fun. yes. and my inbox are full as hell. it was 700 something. crazy. I only responded to maybe 5 people and 3 people that I shared my WhatsApp number. 2 of them are my friend's friend (because I don't want to meet a total stranger , well maybe one or two if they look nice and not dangerous, I don't want end up with a serial killer)

I did met two guys in one night (on the first day I using this apps). The first one, meet Mr. M from Germany. It was coincidence. He ask my phone number when I was wandering alone in a mall in central Jakarta, and He was there too. So, we met. yes it was a little bit awkward, but we share interesting story. It was fine. He told me his intention and quiet honest with me. He's in tinder because He only wants to 'sleep with' all the good looking chicks in town until he back to his country in 3 days. His story made my head spinning. like, how the hell you can do that easily, how he cannot catch feelings or something? I cannot understand that one. So I keep a distance with him, I don't want make any future mistakes with any men right now. I know, this will not going anywhere.

Second one, my friend's friend. Meet Mr. F. I think it's okay to hang out with someone that at least has a connection, not a total stranger. Okay. Same thing. we went out for a drink and things get steamy. But still, I don't want to make any mistakes. He even worse, I can't do that especially with people in a close circle of friends. so yeah. not going to happen.

I'm quiet open about this, this is where endless friends with benefit relationship can happen. I'm not going anywhere near that again. yes I said again. this is not new to me. been there done that. Being a millennial, when everything so fast and instant, even when you want to find love, you only open an apps. Effortless. voila, fuck buddies in front of your face in your phone screen.

I never think romantic relationship is dead, no, not at all. I still dream about that, still hoping that it will happen to me one day. I am a hopeless romantic to be honest. I still can catch feelings to a stranger, which i'm avoiding now. I keep myself sane and realistic. It is just for fun they say. yes, fun when you meet new friends and share stories. Not when you meet, fuck, being dumped, feel worthless the day after. Not cool.

So are we people who desperate enough to find love? I am. are you?