We are tinder Generation

I start using tinder 3 days ago, after a severe heartbreak and a hundred of lonely nights. yeah, its kind of desperate act. honestly, this is not the first time i'm using Dating Apps. I started using Dating Apps years a go, and found two of my exes there. haha. but still, this apps is still new to me, it feels like a game, when you only swipe people to show interest and judge people by it's profile picture. I know, shallow right? I even found a couple of old friends there.

The first day, I swipe right every single photo, just for fun. yes. and my inbox are full as hell. it was 700 something. crazy. I only responded to maybe 5 people and 3 people that I shared my WhatsApp number. 2 of them are my friend's friend (because I don't want to meet a total stranger , well maybe one or two if they look nice and not dangerous, I don't want end up with a serial killer)

I did met two guys in one night (on the first day I using this apps). The first one, meet Mr. M from Germany. It was coincidence. He ask my phone number when I was wandering alone in a mall in central Jakarta, and He was there too. So, we met. yes it was a little bit awkward, but we share interesting story. It was fine. He told me his intention and quiet honest with me. He's in tinder because He only wants to 'sleep with' all the good looking chicks in town until he back to his country in 3 days. His story made my head spinning. like, how the hell you can do that easily, how he cannot catch feelings or something? I cannot understand that one. So I keep a distance with him, I don't want make any future mistakes with any men right now. I know, this will not going anywhere.

Second one, my friend's friend. Meet Mr. F. I think it's okay to hang out with someone that at least has a connection, not a total stranger. Okay. Same thing. we went out for a drink and things get steamy. But still, I don't want to make any mistakes. He even worse, I can't do that especially with people in a close circle of friends. so yeah. not going to happen.

I'm quiet open about this, this is where endless friends with benefit relationship can happen. I'm not going anywhere near that again. yes I said again. this is not new to me. been there done that. Being a millennial, when everything so fast and instant, even when you want to find love, you only open an apps. Effortless. voila, fuck buddies in front of your face in your phone screen.

I never think romantic relationship is dead, no, not at all. I still dream about that, still hoping that it will happen to me one day. I am a hopeless romantic to be honest. I still can catch feelings to a stranger, which i'm avoiding now. I keep myself sane and realistic. It is just for fun they say. yes, fun when you meet new friends and share stories. Not when you meet, fuck, being dumped, feel worthless the day after. Not cool.

So are we people who desperate enough to find love? I am. are you?