Pelakor?

I'm making this blog refer to the term of 'pelakor' which is very popular right now. What is pelakor? Pelakor is simply mistresses. Woman who date a married man.

Dating a married man? What can be wrong?

Everything!

This is for you who caught in the middle of the 'situation'.

So let me give you pro's and con's from pelakor point of view.

Pro's :

1. You don't have to deal with his dirty laundry. It seems easy to have relationship with them because you never know what kind of guy he is when you live together. You don't need to cook or take care of him when he's sick.

2. Easy money. Yes, you can get money without thinking his financial situation. If he's broke, who cares? You just find another one, because you know you're not attached to him.

3. No attachment (unless you have child together but even you have child, you are not the legitimate wife so you considered not attached to him) when you are not attached to him, you can do everything you want. You don't have to worry about boundaries from him. If he's jealous seeing you with another man, he can't be mad.

Cons :

1. He will never choose you. Be realistic. He will come back to his wife and children because he married the wife legitimately in front of everybody. He will never choose you.

2. The money might not be all yours. After all he still have mouths to feed right? So don't expect he will give you all. You are only his 'escape'

3. Even when you love each other, he simply can't leave his wife because of the pressure from society. It is a very big risk to choose you. Even when he choose you, you will be mocked from everybody for the rest of your life.

From all pros cons, it is very clear that if you are a woman, you don't want to be pelakor but it is depend on the intention. If you expect stability and love, don't go for married man. If you only just want money , go for it.

So now, let's see from the wife point of view.

1. You can't blame your husband fully. Maybe it's you who not appreciate your man well. Men is a very simple and short fused creature. When they don't get what he wants, he will looking for another 'choices available' even when he said he loves you. It doesn't matter to him. Man really need to have that sense of control, so when he think he can't control his marriage, he will find another subject to be controlled for. For this situation, that pelakor. He feel that the pelakor depend on him more (which is not true) . So don't take it too personal.

2. There will be time when you think, how come he can do that to you? Men are not emotional like woman and they sometimes not feel guilty of what he done, so they look for sex mostly and their ultimate reason will be : you are my wife how i can't leave you. You will be number one. Which is true, if he choose that woman, he will be doomed.

3. You actually have the power here. You can sue him in the court and take his money for child support for the rest of his life. Leave him or forgive him. If you leave him, don't be afraid to start new life. If you forgive, remember : man will never have remorse. He will do that again. Only a few that have remorse, mostly because he knows he don't have anything anymore and he depend on you on everything.

So if you are the husband here this is the point you need to remember :

1. Appreciate your wife, she choose you in the beginning and said yes to all your flaws. If she know this thing would happen, she will never marry you in the first place. Remember, you made decisions in front of everyone. Don't ruin your credibility for another woman.

2. That woman you have affair with is not stupid. She probably know all the worst possibility that will happen but maybe she need you just for 'money issue' if she said she love you, it might be true but she know already that this affair can't last forever and she might have another plan.

3. In the name of sex, just don't ruin your own life! Many will get hurt. Your wife, your children and all of your family. Be a responsible man! Be consistent!

4. Nobody's perfect. You can't have the most perfect woman. That woman have sides that she never show you, you don't know if you stay with her, if it will work out or not. Once again, you never be with her 24/7. She is not look as perfect as you see. You might end up regret what you did.


I'm not trying to judge here, everybody have their own decisions. At the end of the day, the consequences are on your own. Make sure you make right choices for your own. It's not complicated as you think. Go for who you love. Forgive if you really forgive, and leave if you can't take it anymore. You know what's best for you.