Family

Having a big family is a blessing. getting along and can share their happiness with  family is seems like only a dream for me.

Raised as an only child and adopted from small family is making me never really experienced the family connection.

My parents have their own big family but they rarely seeing them. Only once a year and in daily basis they don't have many relatives, just a few neighbors and church friends.

I grew up being  warned by my parents to be independent and stand on my own feet because nobody from their family will help me at the time I need. Because I am not really their 'blood' family.

As I grew up, I really never have sibling or cousins time when I can just playing with my same age fellow friend. Only few times that I can count. I don't really have good friends also, I am suck at socializing. So most of the time I spent my childhood alone with my parents are busy working.

As an adult I craved a family experience connection. Sometimes i'm very jealous seeing people can have family time when they just have their good times together. Kids playing around with their siblings and cousins. It's making me sad that I never have that moment to remember.

I constantly feeling lonely even until now. Knowing that I never have the support system like everybody has is making me sad.

So my friend, if you have family, cherished them. I wish I have family that can help me but I don't.