For you who left

 This is for the people who left me. I'm trying to not to looking for you again. I'm trying not to hanging on to the idea that you left because of my mistake. You left because you chose it. It was your decision and I have to face it. 

I can be so clingy, because being left out is one of my biggest fear. I am so scared of missing people who can finally getting around me. I'm so scared to be alone again.

Yes, most of the time I spend my days alone without people around me and sometimes I miss being around people and when I finally find people who can understand and listen to me, I just want to keep them with me. Forever.

This is one of my trauma, I always longing for people companion. Sometimes I hate myself for it. I hate why I feel I need to be around people.

I realize that everybody need to be around people and socialize, we are social animals. It's in our blood. But for me it's a luxury.

I am so sorry for being annoying, I feel worthless when I don't get the attention I needed. I just can't help it.

This is the letter for you who left. I'm sorry if I can't understand your needed for personal space.

And most importantly I need to understand that people have their own life and the world is not always gravitate towards me.

This is also a repeating lesson that I always getting. To be enough of my own company, to know my own worth and leave when people don't show the same effort as me.

I believe I am capable to love deeply and the one who get it will be so lucky to have me.

For you who left me, thank you for the lesson. I hope you are my last lesson. Lesson on knowing my worth.